Also notice the other subtle comments in there pointing out how much of an ignorant person she is when it comes to her own job. (“are all 3 lights lit on your modem right now?” “All necessary lights are on” etc…)

Problem : Upgraded speed yesterday, no change in speed tests since then. Have spoken to two other agents, neither of which have fixed the problem

Tech > Hello ****, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is ****. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Tech > How are you doing today?

Me > Doing alright, will be better if someone could actually fix my issue though lol

Tech > I understand that you have issues with your internet speed, am I correct?

Me > Yes. I upgraded yesterday, and my speeds havent changed.

Me > One agent noticed something wrong with my connection, and they apparently fixed it and told me to powercycle

Me > So i did that, to no avail

Tech > Oh, I am really sorry to hear that, ****.

Me > The next agent told me it was my router deciding to split the connection evenly (which my router doesnt do, and last I checked, 12/3 doesn’t = 5.8 lol)

Me > so i went to hook directly up to the modem and even after releasing my ip, it wouldnt reconnect thru just my computer.

Me > and i went back into chat and they had left.

Me > So I’m kinda irked at the moment because I’m not getting what I am paying for sad

Tech > I do really apologize for the inconvenience that this has caused you, ****.

Tech > Do not worry, I will do my best to assist you with your issue today.

Tech > Can you give me a minute or 2 to pull up your information, please?

Me > No problem.

Me > My social last digits are ****

Tech > Thank you.

Tech > Thankyou so much for the wait, ****.

Tech > I have your account opened right here.

Tech > Please allow me to perform health check on your connections. Would that be okay?

Me > Yes

Tech > Thank you.

Tech > ****, I might need to reset your modem. Is that okay?

Me > Yes.

Tech > All right. Thanks.

Tech > ****, I might need to reset your modem. Is that okay?

Tech > Thank you so much for your cooperation, ****. I have successfully reset your modem here on my end.

Tech > Thanks for the wait once again.

Me > no problem.

Me > Now, is there a possibility that I’m too far from the CO to receive the speed upgraded to? Or is that only an issue with DSL?

Tech > I have here the result: Last Status AVAILABLE
Reset Status success
Reset Code 0000

Me > And unfortunately, I just ran the speed test again and am still only pulling a 4.38Mb/s speed

Tech > Actually, we do not really rely on the speedtest, ****.

Me > Ah, both of the previous Techs I talked to wanted me to run that thing.

Tech > I just want to confirm, when you view another website is the connections really too slow?

Me > It depends on the site. The issue is downloading and uploading. I design websites, and it’s not downloading or uploading where it should be.

Me > I also deal a lot with web cams and thats not connecting at the speed it was BEFORE the upgrade even.

Me > So, whether or not the webpages are coming up fast is irrelevant as most pages are static html and only up to 100kb in size on average. On the WORST high speed connection, it would come up fast. The issue is that I am paying for a 12Mb/s line now, and am not getting that speed even closely.

Tech > I am really sorry for that, ****.

Tech > Can you please give me another 2 minutes to look for any other workaround to resolve this issue?

Me > Sure

Tech > By the way, have you tried clearing cache and cookies?

Me > Just did that last Tech session

Tech > All right. Thanks.

Tech > ****?

Me > yes?

Tech > Thank you so much for the wait once again.

Tech > I have ping the modem here to make sure there is nothing wrong with your connections. And it appears to be fine.

Tech > Let me run diagnostics again.

Me > ok

Tech > Thank you.

Me > Also, just to let you know, I attempted to download a file from my server, and it is only coming down @ ~400KB/sec which is about a 3.2Mb connection

Tech > Sorry, I am still waiting for the results.

Tech > Okay. Thanks for that.

Tech > ****?

Me > Yes

Tech > Can you please try to run a speedtest again for me?

Me > getting even WORSE speeds now

Me > 3.78

Me > The up line is fine, it’s just the down that’s the issue.

Tech > All right.

Tech > I am afraid I will have to create a ticket for this issue since I have already exhausted all my troubleshooting steps here in my end and even you, ****.

Tech > But still the issue is not resolve.

Me > Thank you very much

Tech > You are welcome.

Tech > By the way, can you please ping the modem in your end as well?

Me > i unfortunately have a router in the way, do you happen to know what the direct ip address to the modem might be?

Tech > Yes, the IP address is **.***.***.***.

Tech > Can you please bypass the router?

Me > resolved with 2ms latency

Me > I tried connecting directly to my modem but then lost all connection, even after releasing my ip in the router to release any mac bindings.

Me > that’s what happened w/ the last Tech. I hooked it back up thru the router and then the Tech had left chat.

Tech > But you have tried checking the speed while directly connected to the modem, right?

Me > But, the router being in there wouldn’t have any affect on the speed going from 4.8 to 3.7 after you run a test. That’s a line specific issue.

Me > No, like I just said, I can’t connect directly to the modem. I resolve either a 0.0 ip address or a 169 (windows default for “I can’t find an IP address to connect to)

Tech > Sorry for all the verifications. I just need this make the ticket valid to have this issue resolve, ****.

Tech > I do really apologize for all the troubles.

Me > No problem.

Tech > Thank you so much for understanding.

Tech > Thank you so much for understanding.

Tech > Please give me more minutes to proceed and create a ticket for you.

Me > Ok

Tech > By the way, prior to the ticket creation there will be some troubleshooting steps to be done on the system.

Tech > When get disconnected just kindly do not close the chat window to get back to me.

Tech > Okay?

Me > Ok

Tech > Thank you.

Tech > ****, are all 3 lights lit on your modem right now?

Me > I use the combo modem

Me > all the necessary lights are on tho

Me > link is blinking as it should

Tech > Okay.

Tech > Just want to make sure that you have all the wirings and cables firmly connected to the modem, ****.

Me > All secure

Tech > Thanks.

Tech > Has this been an ongoing issue, ****? Just when, if I may ask?

Me > I just upgraded yesterday.

Me > But it’s been ongoing since we upgraded

Tech > I see. Thanks for the confirmation.

Me > The Tech who upgraded us said just to powercycle our modem and we would have our change in speeds, but alas, nothing.

Tech > Sorry for that.

Tech > Yes, I am processing the ticket as of this moment.

Me > Thank you very much

Tech > Just verifying some necessary information to validate the ticket.

Me > I just want to get what we are paying for, that’s all.

Tech > Not a problem, ****.

Tech > Yes, I understand.

Tech > The ticket is asking me to verify and input any url(s) for the websites that you have tried that having slow connections, ****.

Tech > Can you provide me some, please?

Me > No sites are having connection issues, it’s all upload/download issues with my ftp server and all websites that I download legally from.

Me > I guess you could theoretically input the speed test site, since it’s what is telling me I am not getting the right speeds

Me > I have verified with 4 other speedtest sites, and received the same results

Tech > I see.

Tech > May I have the url of those websites, please?

Me > http://speedtest.comcast.net/

Me > http://www.dslreports.com/speedtest?loc=9&premium=

Me > http://sd-pc.indiana.gigapop.net:7123/tcpbw100.html

Me > http://www.dslreports.com/speedtest?flash=1

Tech > ****, I have successfully created a ticket for you.

Me > Thank you.

Tech > The ticket is open and has to be investigated with our higher fix agency. And prior to this you might receive a call from them, ****.

Tech > You are welcome.

Tech > Once I hit submit the issue will be directed to our higher fix agency and they will review the troubleshooting steps we have done. And I am sure this issue will be resolve the soonest possible time.

Tech > Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?

Me > Anything else I need to do?

Tech > None, just please keep the modem online.

Me > That’s it Thanks!

Tech > You are welcome.