Demented Rants

It’s been a very eventful week for many people across the planet.

The verdict against the Pirate Bay was “leaked” and caused as much of an uproar of ignorance and stupidity as the Napster trials. They were found guilty, by no shock to be honest. Software, Movie and Music organizations across the world were partying, I’m sure, as TPB were fined a total $3,620,000 and sentenced to a year in jail for each of the 4 main members. They were found guilty of assisting in making copyright content available.

As they are technically guilty by association  with the copyright material, I will not dispute it. Unfortunately, it has given the morons of the internet a voice, one that is completely ignorant and stupid.

I recently had a run in with a self-proclaimed advocate of free speech who said they deserved it because they were giving out copyright material. Unfortunately, that is absolutely incorrect. TPB was a search engine. They didn’t host a single file that was ever downloaded or uploaded to individual users. Torrents don’t work that way. You connect to a tracker, which keeps a list of people who are currently hosting the files on their computers, not a website. The torrent client then connets to those IP addresses and downloads the files, while simultaneously uploading to help keep the file alive.

After pointing out to this guy that he was wrong, and that the pirate bay was more comparable to google than anything else, he proceeded to tell me I was wrong. And I quote:

“Google is not actively hosting files for people to download..Google is a search engine .I didn’t know that I could use pirate bay in that capacity .as a search engine that is”

(His bad grammar, not mine)

He also tried to rub it in my face that my sites weren’t part of The Free Speech Coalition, and that he is somehow personally acting on behalf of me in fighting for my rights. (I’m pretty sure that’s what the ACLU is for, but whatever.) Oh, oh, here’s the kicker.

“They are Professionals and rapidshare and Pirate bay is cutting into there bottom line The Free Speech Coalition.
( www.freespeechcoalition.com ) that I am a member of Is now going after Tube sites.
REDTube and PornTube for copyright infringement. By the way The Free Speech Coalition
are the people fighting for your right to be a pornographer. I went to your site and what did I not see …Your not a member of the Free Speech Coalition .So I’m paying for the fight and your not.”

Like how he did that? He is personally fighting for me, by paying $10 to get a lousy sticker. ZOMG!

Of course, after I pointed out that he is a moron and needs to get his facts straight, he rennigs on everything. I made it very clear that I know people who work for AEBN and that there is no way in HELL the Free Speech Coalition is suing them, he claims he “misspoke”. Then, follows it up with:

“‘The pirate bay DID NOT HOST FILES’ really I know that and I know how pirate bay works”

So, he not only admitted he’s stupid, but that he is an elitist prick in the same sentence, as he follows it up with the “fact” that he PERSONALLY knows models such as Bella Star, Dana DeArmond and Masuimi Max. Whoop-de doo dude. I know famous people too, but you don’t seem flaunting it around to try and garner attention from people who could care less.

AnyWho. That was this weekend’s fun. Dealing with an idiot who think’s he’s a genius because he runs a paysite.

Onto better things than more fodder for why competency and IQ tests should be mandatory to use the internet…

8BitFM! OMG OMG OMG! I love this website. From everything I have gathered, it’s brand spanking new. I ran across them on an ad on Facebook the other night and have been in love since. Imagine a radio station that plays all your old favorites from Mario, Sonic, Megaman, add in some Remixes and Nerdcore and VOILA! You have the key to immortality… er, entertainment So spread the word people!

While surfing 8bitFM, I came across yet another ad (funny, I don’t ever remember paying attention to these things before…) and found what I feel is one of the greatest products of the millenium: Tentacle Grape Soda! You read right. Tentacle Grape.  Even the description on the About page sounds dirty:

“Each bottle of this delicious carbonated grape drink is crafted with care… and a slight feeling of breathless anticipation. As Tentacle Grape™ slides smoothly down your throat you’ll feel refreshed and full.”

Ahh… good on them for coming up with an ingenius way to use Tentacle Rape to their advantage! Oh, but that’s not the best part. There is even a recipes page that lists different ways to use Tentacle Grape, such as the JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRL and HORNY SPACE MONSTER.

Apparently power saws are the new big thing when it comes to sex toys, at least according to a 27-year-old Maryland woman.
She thought it would be great to use her power saw to attach a dildo and have someone fuck her with it. Good idea, in theory, but this theory only works if you take the actual saw-blade out of the equation.
The saw cut through the dildo (rightfully so) and sliced her twat open. What a fucking moron!
(source NBC Washington)

This news article has sparked an interest inside me to find other stupid sex mistakes, and of course, the best place to start is with the Darwin Awards. Here’s a list of some of the stupidest sex accidents:

Fantastic Plastic Lover: In 2000, a Darwin Award Nomination went to a man who liked to be asphyxiated during sex. One night, he decided to add  a plastic bag to the act, and use a vacuum to remove all the air. He was found dead, with the vacuum cleaner still running.

Shoot ‘em Off: Confirmed Living Darwin Award Nominee, Lantern, was rushed to the hospital due to a gunshot wound to the crotch. Apparently, he liked to put his shotgun to his jewels and tell his wife to pull the trigger. Needless to say, one night the gun was actually loaded and this idiot attempted to shoot off his nuts. “For being named Lantern, he wasn’t very bright.”

Mr. Happy’s Vacuum: Yet another vacuum idiot, a New Jersey man decided to try out his new hand-held Singer A-6 not on the floor, but on his dick. Unfortunately for him, he apparently didn’t read the brochure or he would have known that the vacuum is caused by a blade that is just inches away from the nozzle. Yup, Mr. Genius’ happy moments were cut short, along with his member, when he lopped off the top 1/2″ of it. The doctor’s were unable to reattach the missing piece, but at least it will serve as a reminder that one must always read the usage instructions before inserting a valuable item into a vacuum.

And finally (this time at least)….

Hot Beef Injection: So, you know all those stories about the skanky girl at your school who stuck a hotdog up her twat and it got stuck? Well it may have originated from a true source, and spread from there. A doctor was assigned to a girl that was once his high school classmate (talk about akward) who said she had stomach pains. Finally getting down to the truth in the matter, she had apparently gotten part of a microwaved hotdog stuck inside her. She said she microwaved it because it was frozen, which then softened it and let it easily break off a chunk in her cunt. Good god woman! If you are that hardup, try using a sugar-free popsicle next time. At least if it breaks, it’ll melt out of you!

And that’s all for this edition of Stupid Sex from Stupid People!