Demented Rants

One of my friends “Liked” Sarah Palin’s page on facebook. I was confused. I thought all of the people I knew hated her. Apparently, I was wrong…

Athena Hollow: Really? Sarah Palin? Really?

Friend: Sure why not? Let’s not get political, yo.

Athena Hollow: lol but, not using her politics even, just her as a person – she thinks that people and dinosaurs existed at the same time, thinks she has some sort of diplomatic connection with Russia because it’s “Right across the border”, thinks we’re allies with North Korea and wanted to know how to ban books that had ‘inappropriate language’ in them. Yea. She’s a fuckin tart dude.

Friend: Ok, putting the silliness aside for a second tho. Let us looks at the person. Mother of a single mother. Entrepreneur. Supporter of nature. Really you two got a lot in common.

Athena Hollow: I’m not a single mother. I am just not married. I live with the kid’s dad and have for 8 years.

Nature is meh. I’m don’t live green, I don’t eat healthy and I throw away plastic. I don’t even recycle. And she wanted to legalize shooting bears and wolves from HELICOPTERS. Not cool.

Me and Hitler were both entrepreneurs, but I still don’t like him either LOL

btw, I have a thing against stupid people. Like, if I ran a country, the stupid people would be banished to an island.

Friend: You are categorizing people as stupid people because you disagree with their politics. This is a huge problem with our country right now.

We need to have more people willing to be open minded enough to entertain opposing points of view with toleration. Otherwise we won’t go anywhere as a nation.

Athena Hollow: I never mentioned her politics. I mentioned the stupid things she’s said, done and thinks. Such as saying we’re allies with North Korea or banning books because she doesn’t agree with them. Don’t get me wrong, I hate her politics too, such as her ignorance of rape victim rights (that’s a BIG one on my list).

Athena Hollow: That and the fact that her entire political standpoint is based on not accepting people and and their point of views.

Friend: -Sigh- If you really believe that the things your saying about Sarah Palin are true then I guess there isn’t much left to say. She said North Korea instead of South Korea in One interview. She does Believe in creationism, but then again so does 40% of the country. She never had any books banned by anyone and there is only one person in the world who said she even asked for it. Shooting Bears and Wolves in Alaska? Well they aren’t gonna run out of either any time soon.

This is all just hate minded banter with no facts behind them at all.

Athena Hollow: It’s not creationism that’s the problem. It’s the fact that she honest to god believes that man walked with dinosaurs even though there is scientific proof otherwise; I never said she banned books, I said she inquired into doing it because of some of her ‘followers’ finding certain books to have inappropriate language; Shooting bears & wolves in Alaska ISN’T the problem – it’s using a helicopter or plane to do it that is not cool. If you have to use those things to hunt, they aren’t encroaching on your land, you aren’t going to be using the fur or meat, you are poaching, which is unbelievably irresponsible and rediculous.

The Korea thing may have been a mistake, but look at all the things Bush said that were wrong and he will go down as the worst president we’ve ever had, partially BECAUSE of those things.

Sarah Palin is a socially inept hilljack that happens to have a pretty face and somehow a head to stand on to get heard. Until she does something that isn’t stupid or completely biased based on sexuality, religion or just human rights, I never will like her and thank god, most of the country is behind me.

I don’t hate him for it, but it makes me question some people. How can you say you are wanting a more tolerant country and government yet support Palin in any way?

UPDATE:

Thanks for the help guys! I’ll be ordering my vacuum in a few minutes I do want to extend the offer until the end of the month, for anyone who wants to get in on a deal

Every $25 Amazon gift card purchased and emailed to missathenahollow@gmail.com = 2 months on MissAthenaHollow.com or 3 months on GeekGirlsOnline.com http://amzn.com/w/275JI71O866Y1

So, my poor kitty has been itching for days while I wait on his medicine to get here for fleas. Unfortunately, they are out of CONTROL and it started as soon as the temperature dropped below 60 outside. My daughter has bites all over her I was worried it was chicken pox at first, till one of the little buggers jumped on my arm a few days ago.

The bad news is that in order to really get rid of them, you need a vacuum with good suction. I have just a hand vac w/ an attachable stand to make it a stand up vacuum – great for our every day cleaning, nowhere near good enough for making sure shit CLINGING to my carpet fibers go bye bye.

Now I’m trying to raise money for a new GOOD vacuum. I can’t afford to splurge on one right now between Christmas, mortgage, bills and the like. So, if anyone would like to contribute to this poor little housewife’s plea for a new cleaning tool, drop by http://amzn.com/w/275JI71O866Y1 and get an amazon gift card for me and send it to missathenahollow@gmail.com

Every $25 you send, you can get your choice of 3 months on GeekGirlsOnline or 2 months on MissAthenaHollow. Just put in the comments your preferred email address & username and as soon as I get it, I’ll set you up

So, about a month ago, I asked for fans and friends to send me content ideas. I then received an email from some random guy from xpeeps:

Hi there.

I saw on xpeeps that you were/are looking for content ideas and were asking what’s something we’ve all wanted to see. I have one, but you won’t like it/will say no.

Fuck a member. Have an auction or something. Winner gets tested and agrees to be in a shoot.  Heck, even a guest photographer spot where the winner gets to “direct” you.

I’d pay serious, serious money to have a romp with you.

So ya, that’s it.
I know… I know.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t too keen on this idea. There’s a lot of inherent problems with it, unless you have a shit load of money at your disposal and don’t mind people PAYING to fuck you. I, unfortunately, do have an issue with this. So I responded:

Unfortunately that would require also paying for said member to come out, and have us cover all expenses or it’s considered prostitution. Plus, the mandatory things I would require, most wouldn’t be ok with. Such as 2 previous clean AIDS tests from the past year, and a fully clean drug screening, as well as recent standard std tests.

I hoped would get him to back off about it. It didn’t.

Actually, you just stipulate in the “rules” that the person has to make arrangements etc for themselves. That way, they pay for their transportation and their own accommodations etc. And as far as the prostitution thing goes, you just stipulate in the rules that winning the auction is not a guarantee or promise of sex, but for your time. That way, it’s all legit/legal etc. I’ve seen it on sites before, where they do a “Win a date” or “Win a guest photography spot” kind of deal.

You’d put all your stipulations in the rules section “If you win, you must provide…” I will say, I don’t understand the drug test so much. I have my medical card for a very painful knee deformity, but I’m not a junky or anything of the sort. Plus, anyone worth meeting offline etc will be happy to oblige to your needs — including me.

I was just trying to be helpful and to offer ideas. This is legal, would make you money, AND give you content. It’s like a trifecta of win.

Good luck, Athena.

Apparently he’s unaware of the definition of the word ‘legal’. Paying for sex, even as an entry to a contest, is prostitution and not legal in 99% of the US.

It’d been a month since I heard anything. I had completely forgotten about it, to be honest. Until this evening, when I received this in my inbox:

Lets face it, you’d rather complain about the problem and get the attention and well-wishes than actually do anything to really solve the problem. The reason this is clear is because when I offered a simple and legal solution, you shot it down well.. for no real reason at all.

have fun being an attention whore — who has problems piling up and she ignores solutions. Good luck with that hun.

Huh? Do What? Because I didn’t choose your idea, I’m some how ignoring solutions?? Because I won’t do something OBVIOUSLY ILLEGAL? …. I’m confused at your logic, good sir.

No, I don’t want to fuck a stranger. Why is this a problem? Go away. Seriously. I’m the attention whore? You are suggesting I prostitute myself out illegally under the guise of a ‘contest’. I prefer being ethical, thank you.

So the full answer comes out. I was trying to be nice. I was trying to not be a bitch. But he brought it out. And then brought it out again:

What the “problem” is, is that you’re scamming folks. You’re bitching about problems, legit or not, that are easily solved. You’d rather bitch about the problem then actually solving it. You solicited suggestions and a damn good one was made. Sadly, since it may solve our problem, thus potentially ending your current problem(s), you look for a way to dismiss it.

Face it, you’d rather bitch about the problem then actually solve it — while accepting token paypal payments from strangers. Convenient — so long as they keep ponying up with money to help, you’ll happily bitch about alllll these “problems” you have.

Truth is, you prefer to complain and seek peoples’ attention.. as well as their money.

Again with the bullshit. Ugh. Some people just don’t know how to stfu. I am so fucking confused at this point, seriously. I am at a total loss….

Scamming people? You are fuckin crazy dude. Seriously.

And this ‘suggestion’ you made, even YOU said I wouldn’t like. You are either on some serious drugs or need to be on some. Stop emailing me or I will have to report you. Any contact made after this point will be reported to the authorities. You have serious issues man, and you need to see a shrink. You obviously see the world of porn as something it’s not. And just so you know, I am no taking advantage of people. I provide a service (i.e. porn, web design, what have you) in exchange for their money.

The paypal donations were for an entirely different thing. I didn’t BEG for donations, and in fact, I think I only posted ONCE asking if people could help. Sorry, there is no union or health care for the porn industry, outside of working for a big studio. I am 100% independent and will stay that way, as I like having a choice over what I do, something you obviously aren’t keen to. You’d rather throw an idea at someone and if they turn it down, you take it personally and start attacking them. Get a life man. And stay away from porn. It obviously turns you into an irate douchebag who seems to think their opinion is the only one that matters.

I still haven’t figured out if he’s ON drugs or just needs to be. And his ego, my GOD. The only reason he would have acted out like that, to someone he has never said two words to before, is if he honestly felt this was the way he was finally going to get to fuck me, or his ego is so easily bruised that he can’t take rejection on something even HE said was going to be a fail plan. *shakes her head* Mr. William, I have only one suggestion: Get a life, and stop emailing people in the industry and getting pissed when you don’t get to use your little scheme to your own advantage. Either that, or sit down the crack pipe.

**UPDATE**

He emailed back, even though I said to not contact me again. Looks like I’ll be contacting google tonight with his email address and the proof that he is cyberstalking me:

Right. I’m the crazy one.

Yes, I said you wouldn’t like it because I know you’re an attention whore who isn’t really looking for suggestion/ideas/solutions — you’d just rather bitch. I knew I was presenting a very helping solution to someone who isn’t interested in solutions, hence, why I knew you wouldn’t like it.

Right, they’ll see you being abusive, argumentative, and bating me into a response. You can’t tell someone “after this I’m going to report you” then spend two paragraphs berating and antagonizing them.

Considering you have NO CLUE how I see “the world of porn” it’s rather silly and quite absurd of you to pretend you have any understanding of how i see anything.

You don’t need a union to treat paying members of your site, who are trying to be helpful, with some amount of respect. Sorry, independent or not, all starlets sell a product and in the amateur world of porn, one would think it’s beneficial for starlets to be at least polite and respectful to paying members.

I actually didn’t take it personally at all. I was trying to be helpful to someone who was seeming reaching out for it. Yes, I’m an irate douchebag because you solicited help and I offered it, yup, all me, I’m a douche.

I’m going to go ahead and block unknown emails, because this is ridiculous and I don’t appreciate being threatened by someone whom I tried to help.

i said good day!

I love how he’s so convinced that an ILLEGAL FUCKING ACT is somehow a helpful suggestion, that I’m evil and an attention whore because I said no. I was perfectly 100% nice and cordial until he started being a total drag on my stellar mood… I take that back. He made my mood better. To know there are people out there who get so worked up over me for absolutely NO reason, makes me realize that there’s at least 1000x as many people who enjoy my work. HAH. fuck off loser.

Wow. Two interviews in as many weeks! I feel so <3′d

The latest was actually spawned by a pretty nifty forum on From Dusk Till Con. It’s a collective group of horror fans and con goers. I haven’t had the pleasure of actually making it to a horror convention yet, but definitely love the genre! And the site is fucking awesome itself. Interviews with fantastic & well known horror idols, exclusive inside information about conventions, and all around awesome fan goodies! You can definitely tell that Chainsaw & Ricardo really love the genre

The interviewer is one Malice Psychotik from Encyclopedia Psychotika. Great site with lots of awesome insanity such as movie reviews, interviews, and random horror stuffs. Did I mention the insanity?

So! Get your asses to From Dusk Till Con and Encyclopedia Psychotika!

Malice: We have a real treat for Dusker of the Month this month. She’s our very own video game loving, anime watching, horror fan, Super Mom, web designing, Adult Model…..ATHENA HOLLOW everybody! So Athena, I have never asked this before….How did you stumble upon From Dusk Till Con? (Yeah, that’s the question…what did you think it was…perverts…)

Athena: Actually, it’s because of my Father in Law. He informed me of the FM convention. I checked out the site, and at the time, the official forum was being hosted on FDTC. I signed up and found myself surrounded by people like myself. That alone is a scary thought… more than one person who thinks like I do. Needless to say, I stuck around and *ALMOST* got to meet a lot of you while in town for said con. Unfortunately, life sucks and it didn’t work out. Oh well, always other conventions

Malice: One of the hardest things about getting to know someone on a forum is you only see whats posted. You never get to see the whole story! Tell us a little about yourself…

Athena: Well, I live a relatively boring life, all things considered. I used to be fun and adventurous, but then I became domesticated somehow. I do however still lead an exciting life by everyone else’s standards. I guess that’s because I get paid to look at hot naked chicks all day.

I’m 25 years old, have a 4-year-old daughter, I’ve been with the same guy for 7 1/2 years, involved in porn for 7 of that and make websites for a living. Not really glamorous, but it works for me

Read the full interview here!

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Next on the deals and offers list:

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I love it when I get emails from happy members. Today, one member had a problem which ended up not allowing him to log into the site. I noticed it as soon as I woke up (one of the 20,000 times I woke up last night because of TMJ + Headcold + Sinus Infection) and fixed it immediately. I made sure to email him and let him know it was fixed and just woke up again to see this in my inbox:

Happy GeekGirlsOnline.com Customer

It’s moments like these that prove to me that people who say GeekGirlsOnline has shitty customer service is LYING their asses off and have absolutely NO proof to back it up. ^_^

And while I’m here, don’t forget that Saturday night is when the multi-girl cam chats on EBPM happen! I normally arrive between 9 and 10pm edt. So be there! It’s only $10 a month and you get 1 multi girl chat a week and 2 webcam shows from the hottie, Kitteh, EBPM’s first contract girl Not to mention the 11 years worth of photos and videos. It’s a lot, folks.

All the recent drama has led me to one decision: Fuck the world.

I keep my nose clean, my models love me, my fiance & daughter love me, my fans and customers love me. Even my web design clients <3. You know why? Because I take care of them the best that I can.

As for the models: I may not give them cash, but I try to give them something more: financial stability and independence. Whether they use their sites for pay sites or random blogs with sponsor affiliate links, they have the potential to make much more than the average alt porn site pays models for 3 photo sets or videos. And this makes me happier with my life than anything else can.

Have there been dissatisfied girls? I’m sure there have, though I couldn’t tell you the last time I received a negative email, it’s been that long. Same with customers: I’ve only ever had 2 chargebacks and both were attributed to affiliates scamming me, not someone actually charging back the monthly fee because there was a problem with the site.

When I receive an email because someone is having a problem, I get on it the second I receive the email. Obviously, I do sleep and sometimes I have to leave to go to the store, but absolutely every problem that’s ever arisen has been fixed asap. I don’t think it’s ever been more than a couple hours and I normally compensate them extra for hanging in there.

You can ask anyone on the forum, or any of the models who have their contact info listed on their profiles: I do my damndest to make sure GGO is always in running order, so they have somewhere to feel ‘at home’.

So to those (two or three) naysayers out there, kiss my ass. I know I do a damn good job taking care of mine, maybe you should all be doing the same.

I wrote this song way back in my super angsty days, but it seems oddly appropriate for how I feel about a few people right now:

Plea of Insanity

I tear off you outsides
rip out your insides
peel the skin from under my nails
dissect your brain
you scream in pain
and I couldn’t give a care at all
see “kill” on my face
blood is what I taste
sweet and salty under my tongue
dead upon my floor
will speak never more
all the wrong must die young

and u just scream
and move slightly
cause you’re tied down
cause you crossed me
the wrong way
the wrong way

nails on the ceiling
too much for healing
cuts of my name all over your chest
hair ripped out one by one
to me this is true fun
when it comes to assholes,
you were the best

now you can’t scream
or move slightly
because you’re dead
cause u crossed me
the wrong way
the wrong way

I rip out you organs
so your life was shortened
cause I couldn’t handle you anymore
you tried to torture me
when I said let me be
so now you’re body’s collapsed on my floor
and you’re dead!

5-31-01

It was brought to my attention today that a certain someone is still spreading his lies to the entire world.

Apparently GeekGirlsOnline (listed as geekgirlsonline.net and not .com… someone got their shit totally crooked) is one of the 10 WORST alt porn sites to work for. Really? Are you fucking kidding me? Because we don’t offer cash we are one of the WORST sites to work for? That’s the best you can come up with??

I’m absolutely appalled and even more baffled that someone who has NO TIES TO THE INDUSTRY AT ALL except MAYBE the occasional consumer (I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d never paid for porn in his life) has the audacity to say we’re a terrible site when we offer more than just a quick buck.

As many of you know, we offer paysites and website design in exchange for a VERY small amount of photos. Websites out there pay around $40-80 on average for 100-150 VERY HIGH QUALITY WELL SHOT PHOTOS. How are we faulted for attempting to help models do more than just earn one payment?

Not only this, but the blatant lies stated about eroticbpm are so absurd that it’s almost laughable. I have never in the entirety of my 7 years in the adult industry, heard a single bad thing about eroticbpm. There’s a damn good reason I’ve stuck around there this whole time: because Scott treats his models splendidly and the members love him too.

So, I would like to ask who the sources are for all this tripe being spewn about the internet? I have a sinking feeling I know the ONE AND ONLY PERSON who has EVER said these things, is behind the curtain somewhere, feeding lies to the masses as only he knows best.

I am hence forth BOYCOTTING the ‘Veracity of Porn’ community. You have no grounds for the statements you are attempting to make and therefor I call bullshit. Until you can prove to me that you got your information from models themselves, and not a bullshit artist of which I can prove is a hypocrite and blackmailing asshole, I will do my best to make sure the world knows that you have nothing but crap to back up your supposed intentions.

The day started odd, getting up at 7:30am is not my forte, but I bore with it. A little more akward as we walked towards what I thought was Dunkin Donuts. Realizing that it was further than I had remembered, we turned back and headed to Steak & Shake for breakfast.

Some running around, taking pics, etc.

Then we stop by the area where the Rock Band tournament was to be held. We checked in to see if they had replaced the equipment they were using for freeplay. No change yet, but they claimed it was going to be changed to all official Rock Band equipment, as well as the xbox 360 version with FULL DLC collection. Sweet. They changed the prelim times from 8-10 to 4-10. Just let a judge know, they watch you score the song, and record it. The top 10 scores would go on to first round finals. It was still early. We wanted to practice, but our drummer was doing a pick up tourney for Magic.

We do some more wandering, etc. The rest of the day goes pretty well, random conversations with strangers about everything from Scientology to the downfall of gaming as a whole. The end of the day nears, and we go to find out about the Rock Band tourney. Nothing good has happened. In fact, it’s worse. The Ion drumset they had was broken, and missing the cymbals. The drum kick was glued back together, marginally at best, and you couldn’t hardly use it without it falling apart again. They still had a Guitar Hero guitar set up and it only registered 3/4 of the strums. And still had the PS3, not the 360. Did I mention it was on projection so it had a delay as well? Yea. Not fucking good. And no way were we going to PAY to participate in a tournament with shoddy equipment.

After we run to the bar, saying Fuck the tournament, we come back, talk some more with a random gamer, then head home.

I see my aunt in the driveway, thinking something’s wrong, but she just had a feeling we were about to be home and was smoking a cigarette outside. Nothing major to set off any alarm bells.

I look in my mail box, and there’s an ‘Intent to Evict’ mail notice. We are a month behind on rent. What upsets me about this is they KNOW I just had fucking surgery a little over a week ago. Him and I have been trying to find jobs, but once we mention that I had to go into surgery and that we’d both have to take a week off for my recovery, since I wouldn’t be able to take care of the kid while dosed on Vicodin.

This is just the beginning. Up and down, up and down, we can’t sleep. We come back out in the living room for the 3rd time, and my aunt is on the couch, obviously plastered, but we knew she was drinking when we came home. Not a problem. Kid was passed out and we knew we weren’t going to be out ALLLL night.

Except something’s not right. She’s mumbling to herself, and saying weird shit. She looks at my fiance and calls him a fucking loser, and tells me I’m a fucking whore and that she doesn’t fucking know us. Wait. WHAT? Then, we tell her to get out or we’re calling the cops. She stands up to push him as he grabs for the phone. I quickly put my keyboard down and inform her not to fucking touch him. She turns at me and tells me he’s an abusive, controlling fat fuck. I go off. I remind her that she was in a relationship with the same guy for over 20 years, and he got drunk and beat her every fucking weekend. My fiance hasn’t even tried to grab my hand when I walk away during an argument. She calls me a loser again and I point out that she is almost 45 years old and lives with her mother who lives off of her father’s life insurance and pension from Chrysler all those years ago.

She tries to fucking punch me. My own goddamn aunt who fucking RAISED me the first 7 years of my life, TRIED TO FUCKING PUNCH ME. She is goddamn lucky she was drunk and I didn’t have to move much. I don’t know what would have happened had she connected.

The cops arrive after we get her and her shit outside. We finally get out what’s going on to the cops and they can’t arrest her for PI because they told her to leave the property and go on the sidewalk & they can’t arrest her for trespass because she actually left our property. They (and the fiance, despite all things considered) try figuring out if there’s someone we can get to come get her. Unfortunately, there really isn’t. My grandmother doesn’t drive, my dad is home drunk (It’s Saturday. I know better than to assume he’s sober) & I don’t know her other brother & sister’s numbers. She then proceeds to call one of the cops a fat fucking pig. And we assume she tried to swing on him, because fiance walked outside to take the rest of the shit that we found of hers, out to the cops, and they ask us to bring her stuff in since she’s in handcuffs, behind her back, and wedged on the grill of the cop car. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Next we know, she’s yelling “They’re gonna kill me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” and after about 30 mins, they apparently took her away. We get a hold of my dad, and he, his brother and other sister are there cackling because they can’t believe she got arrested for something so goddamn stupid. And that they aren’t mad at us. AT ALL.

So now, I’m sitting here, reflecting, and I STILL don’t know what the fuck happened today. Not one goddamn bit.

Long story fucking short, I’m selling seriously discounted lifetime memberships to geekgirlsonline.com and missathenahollow.com to come up with the money we need to pay and buy us a few weeks to find a damn job. Hopefully. Or web design. seriously. anything. graphics, banners, full websites. discounted. ANYTHING.